• Live it
• Breath it
• Teach it
• Be An Advocate for Cyber Safety and Awareness

We have posted these tips before and we will likely post them again. They are important to learn and enforce to keep your family safe online.

7 TIPS FOR PRACTICING CYBER SAFETY

1. Discussion. Discussion. Discussion.
Parents must have a good sense about what’s going on in their kids’ online worlds. Since Facebooking has become a daily routine for kids, it needs to be part of the daily conversation. The more open you are with your kids and facilitate a safe and non-judgmental environment for conversation, the more likely they are to tell you if they come across an issue. While the idea of openness and parenting sometimes seem like they shouldn’t go together, imagine this: do you want to talk about things at the dining room table in a calm atmosphere or after something forces the issue?

2. Keep The Computer In A Common Area
Laptops, smart phones, and tablets have allowed us to overlook the cardinal rule of kids on the internet – keep the communication vehicles in a common area where parents can monitor websites and time allocated to internet activity. Making them mobile makes it even more difficult to monitor and manage. We all grew up without access to the internet on our phones and still managed to survive. Your kids can too.

3. Manners For Texting, E-Mailing Or Chatting Online
As you have in every aspect of your child’s life, you set the expectations for manners and appropriate behavior. Coach them to behave as you have taught them in real life. Typed content is the same as verbal communication. Digital manners need to be reinforced just as regular manners do.

4. Understand the Settings of Social Media Sites
While settings can sometimes be difficult to find and hard to navigate, understanding the settings can save you time and heartache down the road. They control what information people can and can’t see and what information is sent out upon posting. Be certain that any settings are set to your preferences. Also remember that Facebook technically prohibits children under 13 from even having a Facebook account.

5. Posting Pictures – Interpretation is in the Mind of the Beholder
A picture posted online is not private. A photo sent between cell phones is not private. Make sure that your children are aware that mistakes do happen and so-called private messages go public, or that sometimes people you trust make mistakes in judgment. Once a photo hits Facebook, it is legally owned by Facebook and will always be on their servers even if you delete it. It can be downloaded and reposted across the entire web within hours. Explain that on the internet, nothing is really ever gone, and the consequences of an immature decision will be viewable for years to come.

6. Kids and Adults should Not Be Friends
You and your kids should be connected in social media so you can monitor their behavior. However, you may need to be careful with their connections to other adults because of the adult content that person and their friends can bring to your kids’ social networks.

7. Teach children what to do if they get an offensive or threatening IM, e-mail, or chat room post
According to the National Crime Prevention Center, in 2010 over 40% of children were the victim of an online bully. Of that number, 90% never discussed the situation with their parents. The more conversations you have with your kids about what occurs online, the more likely they will be to talk to you about what’s going on. Take every opportunity to teach them how to manage themselves in confusing situations.

Bottom line: If Your Child Has A Social Media Account, They Are At Risk.
No one can hide on the internet. A social media account means that a child’s personal information is available in a search engine. Be certain that content is managed appropriately. Performing a Google search every once in a while may be a good idea to make sure that you’re aware of your kids’ online presence.

Visit our For Parents Section at www.TrueCare.com and check out the new additions to our Internet Safety Resources and Starting the Conversation tabs.

Join us on Twitter on May 17th at 1pm CT for a Tweet Chat to talk with other parents about online safety, tips and concerns.

tweetchat.com/room/truecaresafetyday
# truecaresafetyday

And because we at TrueCare believe that monitoring is an important part of teaching your kids about online safety, to celebrate National Cyber Safety Day, today you can try TrueCare for 50% off. Just $4.99 a month can help you keep your kids safe while staying connected. Click Join Now and Use coupon code NCSD.

Stay Safe!

The TrueCare Team

The Internet and e-communications are valuable and beneficial for an infinite amount of reasons. However, they can expose us to danger if they aren’t used with proper care. Everyone is susceptible to these dangers, but children are especially vulnerable, as many have not developed the skills or real-world experience to see the potential problems and know how to handle them. We, as parents, need to help keep them safe online. We need to educate them, monitor them and practice online safety to ensure their well-being in this digital world – for both the present and their futures.

Innovations in the internet and social media grow at lightning speed every day! As parents, we must stay up to date on these technologies- our children’s safety depends on it. Each day in the news there are criminal stories involving social media such as cyber bullying, suicide, child pornography, or predators engaging children under false profiles. By educating yourself, monitoring your children’s activity, and talking with them on how to handle problems as they happen you can help prevent your child from being a victim.

What Can You Do on Cyber Safety Day (and all days)?

1. We encourage you to speak to everyone you know about the importance of cyber safety including your family, teachers, friends, neighbors, babysitters, doctor, or anyone who is involved in the lives of your children. Be a true advocate!

2. We encourage you to have specific discussions with your children to discuss:

1. a. Your expectations of their behavior online
2. b. Your involvement in their online activity
3. c. The networks where they have accounts, and how to use them
4. d. The dangers that lurk online

3. Join us on Twitter on May 17th at 1pm CT for a Tweet Chat to talk with other parents about online safety, tips and concerns.

1. tweetchat.com/room/truecaresafetyday
2. # truecaresafetyday

4. Download the Family Social Media Agreement to start conversations with your children this week. This is a GREAT tool to help facilitate healthy, open conversation around cyber safety so you can set your expectations clearly and learn more about their “world” online.

5. And visit our Internet Safety Resources page on May 17th for an Internet Safety Quiz for both parents and kids.
_________________________________________________________________________
While we focus mainly on social media safety, we want to remind you that cyber safety includes being safe on:

• Personal Computers – Protect your computer. It is important to install virus protection software and a firewall and to check for updates regularly
• Search Engines – Utilize passwords and locks to make sure your child is not browsing the web freely.
• Identity – Protect your personal information online including your address, name, telephone number, birth date and/or social security number.
• Social Networking – Sharing information with your “friends” or “followers” is the foundation of social networking. But sharing too much can be a problem, so use your privacy settings to limit who can view your profile, photographs, and personal information.
• Email – Internet safety also applies to email activity including online scams and viruses.

Stay Safe
The TrueCare Team ]]> http://www.truecare.com/blog/internet-protection/promote-national-cyber-safety-day-with-family-and-friends/feed/ 0 http://www.truecare.com/blog/internet-protection/youtube-teen-brawls-make-me-ask-parents-what%e2%80%99s-going-on/ http://www.truecare.com/blog/internet-protection/youtube-teen-brawls-make-me-ask-parents-what%e2%80%99s-going-on/#comments Fri, 13 Apr 2012 16:08:21 +0000 Mary Jo Rapini http://www.truecare.com/blog/?p=493 Continue reading →]]> I read a disturbing article in several newspapers, and I am hearing about it from other Psychotherapists, Psychologists and Pediatricians. Our girls are acting out, filming it and putting it up on You Tube. Oh yes, and it is getting a lot of attention. The girls are punching, hitting, cursing, pinching, and slapping each other to the ground. The crowd is cheering them on. The crowd is mostly made up with teens, but there are also adults.

Kids are turning to “virtual friends” to talk over issues that they aren’t comfortable talking to parents about. These issues range from suicide to bullying. Children no longer feel safe in their home and many of them are not. We have gone from a generation of parents trying to be their child’s friend, to a generation of parents who are unaware of what their children are being exposed to in their own home, while the parents are working or sleeping. This issue is not going to go away unless parents change the way they are parenting.

According to True Care, a provider of Internet monitoring for parents, the word “HATE” was the word that generated the most parental alerts. This word became powerful after several bullying incidences as well as suicides. There were other words that the monitoring system alerted parents in regards to. Mostly due to the consequences of teens acting out after these words were written. Below are the top 22 internet alert words identified by a notable monitoring company.

1. HATE (bullying/racism)
2. PARTY (alcohol/drugs)
3. STUPID (bullying)
4. UGLY (bullying)
5. X (alcohol/drugs)
6. DAMN (bullying)
7. KILL (bullying/racism)
8. FIRE (drugs)
9. A** (bullying/racism)
10. TREES (drugs)
11. SH*T (drugs/bullying/racism)
12. BUSTED (drugs)
13. FREAK (bullying)
14. POSER (bullying)
15. DRINK (alcohol/drugs)
16. ICE (drugs)
17. LOVE (sex)
18. BITCH (bullying)
19. LOSER (bullying)
20. MONKEY (sex/bullying)
21. HOMO (bullying)
22. SEX (sex)

It is sad to think we live in a time where you need to have your child’s computer, phone, Twitter account and social network page monitored. Sadder to imagine something happened to your child because you didn’t have them monitored, and you weren’t aware of what was going on in their life. The best approach is talking and engaging with your teen or tween. Not once a week, but every day. Ask them to share their passwords with you, as well as show you the sites they visit. Talk to your kids about sex. The best sex educator is you. Don’t leave it to shows like MTV’s “Skins” to teach your child what sex is. When you watch a movie or listen to song lyrics with your child, begin a dialogue by asking them what they think or feel about it. Then listen to them when they tell you. I don’t remember a time when I have known so many great kids. They are our future and our hope. Keep them safe, keep them engaged in your family, let them know that they are essential to the world becoming a better place.

- Mary Jo Rapini

This blog post was written by Mary Jo Rapini, an advisor for TrueCare. Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC is a psychotherapist and contributing expert for Cosmopolitan Magazine, Women’s Health, First, The New York Daily News, Seventeen Magazine, and Redbook. Additionally she is a  “City Bright” blogger for the Houston Chronicle, and is a contributing columnist for HealthNewsDigest.com and Houston Family Magazine.

Regardless of your plans, if it involves more time online or social networking for you or your kids, TrueCare has some basic reminders of potential dangers to be aware of during spring break time.

We advise parents to speak with their kids about appropriate online behavior, especially since they may be spending more time online over spring break week. Kids should be aware that the Internet is a place where anything posted can be shared and stored forever. Help your child understand that their online behavior in just one week can negatively impact their futures. Teach them to be smart about what they post.

If your kids are on vacation for spring break, you might want to remind them of the following do’s and don’ts:

DO if you do post pictures of you and your friends or family on spring break, be careful of posting any revealing photos in swimsuits or revealing outfits.

DO put restrictive privacy settings on the photos you post to limit the potential people who can see them.

DO if you do decide to post a few status updates during your trip to tell people what you’re doing, be careful not to post your full itinerary or excessive details about your activities that can leave you vulnerable to thieves and predators.

DO remember that colleges and future employers may be watching your site.  DON’T make them regret their decision for accepting or hiring you based on anything you post.

DO remember that the world is watching you. Whether that is mom/dad, aunt/uncle, grandma, professors, employers, academic institution or other, someone is watching what you are doing. Put your best foot forward.

______________

DON’T post pictures freely or let yourself be tagged in other photos. You probably don’t know how their privacy settings are set, and could be vulnerable to anyone downloading those photos.

DON’T post inappropriate photos of you and your friends in your swimsuits or other revealing outfits. You never know who may be looking at them and how they may interpret them. Predators love spring break and the sneak peek it gives them at potential prey.

DON’T connect with people you meet on spring break while still on spring break. Take time to find out who they are before you decide to “friend” or connect with them.

DON’T be “that” friend… the one who everybody worries about posting the bad pictures.

DON’T post activity that is illegal (such as drinking or smoking) if you are under 21. Drinking is illegal, even if you are in a country where it is legal.

If your kids will be home alone while you are at work:

DO ensure your computer has the proper parental monitoring software in place and that passwords are set appropriately.

DO remind them of the time limits for being online during the day.

DO remind your kids about your expectations and rules for social media.

DO monitor their postings and check their browser history that week.

Some parents might even take the idea of spring break to heart and simply decide to take a break from it all – no TV, no Internet, no cell phones.  A great idea, but awfully hard to do in today’s technology driven world. Enjoy your break!

By now, most parents have heard about Laptop Dad. In case you somehow missed it, a dad, frustrated by a Facebook post that his daughter put up that was incredibly disrespectful, turned to YouTube and read the post, replied and then proceeded to pump nine bullets into her laptop. To really get the full effect, watch the video which has gotten 28 million views and counting.

I’ll be the first to admit, I laughed my head off watching this. I’m sure every parent of a teen can relate to this. I feel for the guy – really I do.

I completely commend him for posting the video but he would have made his point even better by donating her computer to a charity for needy kids rather than shooting it up.

Unfortunately social media has become a vehicle or catalyst for parents and adults to behave as badly as kids. Emptying his pistol into a laptop doesn’t instill a sense of comfort that this guy can always act in a rational manner. Putting it up on YouTube gives child services, police and potential clients or employers the opportunity to see his idea of conflict resolution.

Then there’s the case of the high school football coach in Maine who was forced to resign last week after he accidentally posted a nude photo of himself on Facebook. He had meant to send it to “one special person” but inadvertently made it public. One parent was none too pleased when she ran across it online.

Then there was the case last year of a 32-year old mom who was caught on tape encouraging her 12 year-old daughter to fight another 12 year-old girl outside a local school after her daughter was being bullied. A crowd of kids, who learned about the brawl from a posting on Facebook, came to the school yard and taped the fight. The fight was posted on Facebook and the mom was charged with attempted assault and endangering the welfare of a child.

For years now, adults have been competing to have the coveted title of “coolest parents in town” from moms dressing like their daughters to parents serving alcohol at parties to their underage kids and friends. Now Facebook and YouTube are allowing them to take this to a new level. But as parents are embarrassing their kids online and intruding into their space, kids are migrating off Facebook and onto Twitter where they can maintain more anonymity.

For my next book, OMG Save Me! The Safety Mom’s Guide To Understanding Your Teen, I’ve been interviewing scores of teens. Overwhelmingly they agree that they don’t want to know what their parents did when they were teens and they expect parents to set boundaries for them and act in a “parental” manner.

While parents should monitor their child’s activities online, that doesn’t mean that they should be interacting with them. Maintain boundaries, be a role model for appropriate behavior and think twice before you send a tweet, text or post.

This blog post was written by Alison Rhodes, an advisor for TrueCare. Alison Rhodes – the “SafetyMom” is a nationally-recognized expert regarding child and family safety and addresses issues facing newborns to teens. She is a sought-after guest on many national television shows including The Today Show, Good Morning America, Fox & Friends, CNN International and The Doctors.

So what’s the problem ?Unbeknownst to you and your not-as-tech-saavy-as-they-may-think children, using Peer to Peer Software may mean they are illegally downloading, copying or sharing files that are copyrighted. This is considered piracy and punishable by law.

Additional risks…

• Malicious code – It is difficult, if not impossible, to verify that the source of the P2P files are trustworthy. Some P2P applications can be used to transmit malicious code. Attackers may incorporate spyware, viruses, Trojan horses, or worms into the files. When you download the files, your computer becomes infected.

• ID Theft–When you use P2P applications, you may be giving other users access to personal information. Whether it’s through directories you give them access to or because you provide personal information, unauthorized people may be able to access your financial or medical data, or other personal information. This information may increase your risk of identity theft.

• Susceptibility to attack – Some P2P applications may ask you to open certain ports on your firewall to transmit the files. However, opening some of these ports may give attackers access to your computer or enable them to attack your computer by taking advantage of any vulnerabilities that may exist in the P2P application. There are some P2P applications that can modify and penetrate firewalls themselves, without your knowledge.

Here are some suggestions for making sure this doesn’t happen to you:

1. Talk to your kids! Make sure your kids know about the possible risks. Let them know piracy is stealing and that means they are breaking the law. Enough said. However, for those of you sensing an eye-rolling from your tween-teen, further explanation may be needed. Let them know that P2P file sharing can put your computer at risk from viruses and other internet-based threats like spyware and adware. Remind them that the Feds/Law Enforcement can use this as reason to confiscate the computer (no more “Angry Birds”), impose a big fine (coming straight out of their allowance for the rest of their life) and may result in time spent in “Juve-y.”

2. Monitor your kids’ internet activities. Is your computer in a spot that you can monitor their download activities? Using a service like TrueCare will send your kids the right message that you are serious about keeping them safe online.

3. Lead your kids to ‘legal’ download websites. Direct them to sites such as iTunes and MSN that only let you access legal downloadable mp3s, movies, games, and software at a very low price. Encourage them to use these sites. Downloading illegal files may seem like a non-issue to your kids. However, done tastefully, it’s a great time to remind them how much you care about their safety whilst keeping their criminal record clean.

As usual, let us know how the conversation goes.

How much do you think what you do online impacts your personal reputation? According to a blog post made on Tuesday by Brendon Lynch, chief privacy officer at Microsoft, “While a lot depends on who has access to the data, every piece of personal information that exists online about you – whether posted by you or by others – has the potential to impact how you are perceived by family and friends, an employer, a mortgage lender and more…”

In Microsoft’s Online Reputation Management Survey that was just released, 14% of adults surveyed said they have experienced negative consequences as a result of someone else’s online behavior. Of those who have experienced unwanted repercussions, 21% were fired from their job, 16% lost out on getting a job or lost their health insurance, 14% were not accepted to their college of choice, and 15% were turned down for a mortgage. Others said their online activities caused a friend or family member to lose a friendship, be embarrassed, or fall victim to identity theft.

Read more about this in the PC magazine article: “Infographic: Few Internet Users Ponder Impact of Web Activities” by Angela Moscaritolo

Or check out Microsoft’s survey yourself for more details.

You can also access tools and resources for talking with your child about Data Privacy at http://www.staysafeonline.org/dpd/education-resources.

Another interesting tidbit from the survey states that the more actively involved a parent is in monitoring their child’s online reputation, the more concerned the child is about managing their reputation.

So take some time to talk with your child about the importance of Data Privacy.
TrueCare is here to help.

Are your kids spending more time on the computer than you think they should? Do you know who they are communicating with? Is Facebook still something you don’t fully understand, with Twitter and YouTube falling right behind it on the list?

We recommend that 2012 be the year you learn more about social networking and how it can impact your kids. It’s not going away any time soon!

Include your family as much as you can in creating the outline for the resolution. That way, everyone can feel like they are involved, that their ideas matter, and will be more willing to work towards keeping that resolution.

Start by setting a purpose including any actions your family might need to take to ensure this resolution is successful for everyone. Create a list of the resolutions you agree to and put it in an easy-to-see spot, as a reminder throughout the year. We’ve provided some examples of possible purposes, resolutions for parents and kids to help get you started. If you more need help coming up with a resolution, check out our “Family Social Media Agreement.”

SAMPLE PURPOSES

1. To keep everyone in our family safe from dangers that lurks online.
2. To ensure we are spending the right amounts of time together as a family, as well as have time to talk with friends online.
3. To make sure everyone clearly knows the family rules around the computer, Internet, social networking, and games played on line.

SAMPLE RESOLUTIONS FOR PARENTS:

Here are a few examples of resolutions a parent might want to take. Obviously, every family is very unique from each other, so write a resolution that fits you and your children. You may even have a different one for each child!

1. Knowing I have a very busy schedule, I will subscribe to a service such as TrueCare to help me monitor.
2. I will enforce my own rules of how much time my kids spend on the Internet each day. To do so, I will set a time limit that is clear to everyone in my house.
3. I will learn everything I can about Facebook, You Tube, or any site where my child spends a lot of time including: setting up an account to link to my child/children, and learning all the privacy settings.
4. I will ask my kids what happened on Facebook every day.
5. I will monitor my computer’s history more often to understand where my kids visit when they are online.

SAMPLE RESOLUTIONS FOR KIDS:

Help your kids understand what you expect of them in this process , since this should be a two-way conversation. After you have spoken with them about your resolution, ask them to make one of their own.

Again, each family struggles with unique Internet-related pressure points, so make sure your resolutions are best for your family and its’ members.
Some examples include:

1. I will answer my parents truthfully when they ask about my online activities.

2. I understand that there is a lot of danger online and that everyone I come across may not be my friend. My parents can count on me to report activity I find odd, strange or threatening.

3. I will not be connected to anyone I don’t know. I won’t let people into my network if I don’t know them and I won’t request to follow people I don’t know.

4. I will NEVER meet anyone in person I met online.

What did you come up with? Anything we can do to help you be successful? We hope you will share your story with us.

Happy Holidays!

Yes, I DID receive a free 90 day trial for this. And Yes I DID receive it through Bzzagent.

TruCare has been monitoring my 15-year-old daughter’s Facebook page for 90 days now. I have received email alerts about all the adults she has friended and every time anyone used the word ”party” on her page or comments.

I have even received alerts that she friended someone outside her normal network.

However, it is the monitoring of her private messages that have been the most helpful.

I received an email from TrueCare that said that there was a private message between her and another that contained the words “hand job“.

Deep Breath.

I clicked on the link they provide that takes you to the page where the content is posted. (you must have their password for this service)  And there I found private messages between her and her boyfriend.  He was pressuring her terribly for sexual favors. To my delight she was not giving in to his whining, and guilt tripping her, and all the other things you don’t want to think your sons are doing.

Now, needless to say I have confiscated her phone, computer and banned her from seeing this kid. (Using the actual screen shots of the conversation as currency.) And to my surprise this whole discussion with my daughter was not a heated, door slamming one. She seemed to understand. She did Cry and plead her case, but to no avail.

This is my daughter, and THAT is not going to happen.

I can’t help but wonder what may have transpired if I had not found out about this conversation. If I had not been given the opportunity to have this discussion with her last night. Was she on the verge of giving in?  What tactic was he going to use next?  Would it have worked?  I may have never known.

$4.99 a month is what it’s going to cost me to keep this service. I believed it paid for itself already.

I am posting a picture of one of the emails I have gotten. A different one, mind you, and edited for “internet safety” purposes.  Just so you can see.

Please share this with parents of teens. It’s just another app just like Farmville or any of those other strange things they are letting access their info. Might as well put one to good use.Preview

Update (yeah, I know I just posted this) Crying and slamming doors has begun. I guess it was a delayed reaction. Cest la vie!

In April, I started working with TrueCare. I quickly became aware of the many dangers that lurk online. I soon became an advocate for the issue, informing everyone I could about the information I had learned that day.

It’s been 8 months now. I have met many amazing people, including the staff at TrueCare and their team of expert advisers, to help bring the latest information to parents and communities. I have been motivated by Detective Richard Wistocki’s desire to speak to kids and parents in school settings on the many situations he encounters on a daily basis. I use his stories to fuel TrueCare messages and safety tips as he advises us on the latest information in cyber safety and cyber crimes involving children. I have also been inspired by TrueCare advisor Mary Jo Rapini’s insight into why kids act this way, why they bully each other and her lessons to parents on how to spot the signs of bullying. And TrueCare advisor Alison Rhodes – “The Safety Mom” – has helped me understand how important it is to be a parent first and friend second when it comes to their child’s online safety. It has been a privilege to talk about the issues with this team and make a plan of action and be able to call it “my job.”

The other inspiring groups of people I have met are parents, parents who have experienced issues related to social media who want to share their stories so they can prevent situations that occurred in their own home. One of my goals in the coming year will be to expand this group to share, educate, and connect with parents to help keep all kids safer online.

My head is swimming with the information I read every day related to the Internet, kids, social networks, texting and the misuse of it all. My heart is burning with the passion I feel to make the information widely available to those who need it and those who don’t yet know they need it. I’m saddened and angry that so many situations could have been prevented if only the parents were paying closer attention.
TrueCare is committed to providing a service to help parents monitor their kids online. In this coming year, I challenge the TrueCare family to spread the word about online dangers to your friends, families, acquaintances, or anyone who will listen and be a true advocate for these issues. I hope you will let us know what type of resources you need to navigate the issues in your home and even share your stories so others can learn from them.

Together, we can work to change the understanding of the need for monitoring and parental involvement in 2012.

TrueCare Media Relations Specialist
Nicki Klinkhamer