I read a disturbing article in several newspapers, and I am hearing about it from other Psychotherapists, Psychologists and Pediatricians. Our girls are acting out, filming it and putting it up on You Tube. Oh yes, and it is getting a lot of attention. The girls are punching, hitting, cursing, pinching, and slapping each other to the ground. The crowd is cheering them on. The crowd is mostly made up with teens, but there are also adults.
Kids are turning to “virtual friends” to talk over issues that they aren’t comfortable talking to parents about. These issues range from suicide to bullying. Children no longer feel safe in their home and many of them are not. We have gone from a generation of parents trying to be their child’s friend, to a generation of parents who are unaware of what their children are being exposed to in their own home, while the parents are working or sleeping. This issue is not going to go away unless parents change the way they are parenting.
According to True Care, a provider of Internet monitoring for parents, the word “HATE” was the word that generated the most parental alerts. This word became powerful after several bullying incidences as well as suicides. There were other words that the monitoring system alerted parents in regards to. Mostly due to the consequences of teens acting out after these words were written. Below are the top 22 internet alert words identified by a notable monitoring company.
1. HATE (bullying/racism)
2. PARTY (alcohol/drugs)
3. STUPID (bullying)
4. UGLY (bullying)
5. X (alcohol/drugs)
6. DAMN (bullying)
7. KILL (bullying/racism)
8. FIRE (drugs)
9. A** (bullying/racism)
10. TREES (drugs)
11. SH*T (drugs/bullying/racism)
12. BUSTED (drugs)
13. FREAK (bullying)
14. POSER (bullying)
15. DRINK (alcohol/drugs)
16. ICE (drugs)
17. LOVE (sex)
18. BITCH (bullying)
19. LOSER (bullying)
20. MONKEY (sex/bullying)
21. HOMO (bullying)
22. SEX (sex)
It is sad to think we live in a time where you need to have your child’s computer, phone, Twitter account and social network page monitored. Sadder to imagine something happened to your child because you didn’t have them monitored, and you weren’t aware of what was going on in their life. The best approach is talking and engaging with your teen or tween. Not once a week, but every day. Ask them to share their passwords with you, as well as show you the sites they visit. Talk to your kids about sex. The best sex educator is you. Don’t leave it to shows like MTV’s “Skins” to teach your child what sex is. When you watch a movie or listen to song lyrics with your child, begin a dialogue by asking them what they think or feel about it. Then listen to them when they tell you. I don’t remember a time when I have known so many great kids. They are our future and our hope. Keep them safe, keep them engaged in your family, let them know that they are essential to the world becoming a better place.
- Mary Jo Rapini
This blog post was written by Mary Jo Rapini, an advisor for TrueCare. Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC is a psychotherapist and contributing expert for Cosmopolitan Magazine, Women’s Health, First, The New York Daily News, Seventeen Magazine, and Redbook. Additionally she is a “City Bright” blogger for the Houston Chronicle, and is a contributing columnist for HealthNewsDigest.com and Houston Family Magazine.
